He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college