I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers