I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
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Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name