Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them