Texts From Last Night

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'

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(832): 'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.' http://tfl.nu/5079

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(281): View more from Texas

Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno

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(281): Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno http://tfl.nu/zxk7

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(303): View more from Colorado

It smells like weed.

(720): View more from Colorado

We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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(303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb

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(408): View more from California

Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people

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(408): Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people http://tfl.nu/thju

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(410): View more from Maryland

it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.

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(410): it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job. http://tfl.nu/iasx

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(949): View more from California

I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.

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(949): I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying. http://tfl.nu/ychl

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(702): View more from Nevada

chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate

(415): View more from California

i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube

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(702): chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate (415): i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube http://tfl.nu/nhs2

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(619): View more from California

Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

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(619): Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular. http://tfl.nu/9sri

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just google imaged poop.

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(865): i just google imaged poop. http://tfl.nu/6d8g

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(847): View more from Illinois

he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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(847): he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants. (1-847): you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him. http://tfl.nu/yg4d

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(303): View more from Colorado

he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.

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(303): he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused. http://tfl.nu/ocgb

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

(201): View more from New Jersey

obviously you're part succubus.

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(609): Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf? (201): obviously you're part succubus. http://tfl.nu/sqeb

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(810): View more from Michigan

Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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(810): Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it. http://tfl.nu/lg31

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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(202): i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left. http://tfl.nu/4tq4

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(908): View more from New Jersey

They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina

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(908): They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina http://tfl.nu/9jci

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