I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
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My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.