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    (513): View more from Ohio

    My mom found a condom in my purse

    (513): View more from Ohio

    Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.

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    Replies (47) Good night (592) Bad night (4714)
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    (850): View more from Florida

    I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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    Replies (9) Good night (3480) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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    (203): View more from Connecticut

    it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

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    Replies (64) Good night (514) Bad night (3472) Order T-Shirt
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    (952): View more from Minnesota

    What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?

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    Replies (34) Good night (1133) Bad night (1795) Order T-Shirt
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    (207): View more from Maine

    The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

    (207): View more from Maine

    welcome to maine.

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    Replies (47) Good night (670) Bad night (2680)
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    (302): View more from Delaware

    is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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    Replies (13) Good night (2634) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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    (402): View more from Nebraska

    Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.

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    Replies (42) Good night (5796) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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    (804): View more from Virginia

    I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.

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    Replies (17) Good night (7959) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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    (818): View more from California

    thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)

    (661): View more from California

    should have blown me.

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    Replies (50) Good night (776) Bad night (3863)
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    (812): View more from Indiana

    Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

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    Replies (4) Good night (552) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt
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    (417): View more from Missouri

    You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

    (573): View more from Missouri

    You can't be serious.

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    Replies (58) Good night (3178) Bad night (596)
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    (617): View more from Massachusetts

    to do: lose virginity to hamster dance

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    Replies (25) Good night (928) Bad night (2470) Order T-Shirt
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    (561): View more from Florida

    If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.

    (1-561): View more from Florida

    Agreed

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    Replies (44) Good night (2820) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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    (717): View more from Pennsylvania

    If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

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    Replies (13) Good night (437) Bad night (2876) Order T-Shirt
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    (512): View more from Texas

    I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are

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    Replies (31) Good night (3179) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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