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My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
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