Texts From Last Night

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(513): View more from Ohio

My mom found a condom in my purse

(513): View more from Ohio

Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.

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(513): My mom found a condom in my purse (513): Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse. http://tfl.nu/gxhf

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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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(850): I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did. http://tfl.nu/zdnh

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

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(203): it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up http://tfl.nu/co6p

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(952): View more from Minnesota

What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?

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(952): What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there? http://tfl.nu/nak2

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(207): View more from Maine

The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

(207): View more from Maine

welcome to maine.

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(207): The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade. (207): welcome to maine. http://tfl.nu/bd8m

Replies (47) Good night (670) Bad night (2680)
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(302): View more from Delaware

is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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(302): is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"? http://tfl.nu/82yu

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.

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(402): Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later. http://tfl.nu/06o9

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.

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(804): I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay. http://tfl.nu/7iul

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(818): View more from California

thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)

(661): View more from California

should have blown me.

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(818): thank you for a lively/lovely evening :) (661): should have blown me. http://tfl.nu/rnof

Replies (50) Good night (776) Bad night (3863)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

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(812): Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA. http://tfl.nu/7ezh

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(417): View more from Missouri

You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

(573): View more from Missouri

You can't be serious.

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(417): You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right? (573): You can't be serious. http://tfl.nu/cmch

Replies (58) Good night (3178) Bad night (596)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

to do: lose virginity to hamster dance

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(617): to do: lose virginity to hamster dance http://tfl.nu/0r0s

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(561): View more from Florida

If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.

(1-561): View more from Florida

Agreed

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(561): If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet. (1-561): Agreed http://tfl.nu/8njb

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

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(717): If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone. http://tfl.nu/j92l

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(512): View more from Texas

I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are

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(512): I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are http://tfl.nu/go0u

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