Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.