What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
