plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
