Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children