he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.