The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.