..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off