And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.