She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
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I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?