There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.