You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.