No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
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Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
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In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze