Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?