I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.