I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
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Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
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i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway