Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.