No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect