i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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