i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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