They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.