So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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