I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
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She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.