woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
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direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left