Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Follow @tfln