That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.