Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left