If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator