When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager