Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room