I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.