Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.

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  (778): Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house. http://tfl.nu/6cay
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (939)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the mantra for Sunday?

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I will not have sex with him.

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  (502): What's the mantra for Sunday? (606): I will not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xixk
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (170)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.

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  (954): Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube. http://tfl.nu/0ubi
  Replies (38) Good night (567) Bad night (4599) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  At what point did we cease to have vaginas?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.

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  (970): At what point did we cease to have vaginas? (720): Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year. http://tfl.nu/ox7z
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (1648)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.

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  (601): I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak. http://tfl.nu/j26q
  Replies (19) Good night (567) Bad night (3164) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.

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  (330): We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens. (330): Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible. http://tfl.nu/ibu5
  Replies (22) Good night (567) Bad night (4964)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.

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  (+61): Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere. http://tfl.nu/z8sw
  Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.

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  (570): Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid. http://tfl.nu/hx89
  Replies (15) Good night (567) Bad night (3274) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?

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  (207): I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal? http://tfl.nu/y7ty
  Replies (9) Good night (566) Bad night (677)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.

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  (910): I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford. (910): My sex life and finances are equally in shambles. http://tfl.nu/5ti1
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (1066)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

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  (310): It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots http://tfl.nu/44j2
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (1484) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.

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  (619): Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted. http://tfl.nu/mj8h
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She announced her abortion via fbk

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  (864): She announced her abortion via fbk http://tfl.nu/kc9n
  Replies (68) Good night (566) Bad night (6332) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.

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  (802): Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too. http://tfl.nu/k5c7
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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  (202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g
  Replies (18) Good night (566) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt