i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward