cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.