The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.