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I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
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