you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please