If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY