I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.