I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.