Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..