My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes