direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR