Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.