I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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