Texts From Last Night

xanaduu's Favorites Texts:

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  (315): View more from New York

  See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday

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  (315): See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday http://tfl.nu/kg71
  Replies (8) Good night (2524) Bad night (1445) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.

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  (902): In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment. http://tfl.nu/d367
  Replies (10) Good night (2846) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.

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  (413): It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex. http://tfl.nu/wrcv
  Replies (14) Good night (3641) Bad night (1186)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....

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  (724): Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on.... http://tfl.nu/te8z
  Replies (67) Good night (1734) Bad night (7262) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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  (563): I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/sbgi
  Replies (3) Good night (2287) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

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  (540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (1442) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged

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  (814): when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged http://tfl.nu/78pb
  Replies (16) Good night (4603) Bad night (2607) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.

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  (978): I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/u4oj
  Replies (8) Good night (2637) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie

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  (815): I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie http://tfl.nu/y42e
  Replies (3) Good night (1833) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."

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  (717): She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen." http://tfl.nu/c7q3
  Replies (32) Good night (9260) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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  (917): On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests http://tfl.nu/0vji
  Replies (7) Good night (3058) Bad night (1773) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.

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  (504): Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me. http://tfl.nu/tasz
  Replies (22) Good night (1275) Bad night (4080) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.

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  (253): We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up. http://tfl.nu/4lr7
  Replies (6) Good night (3513) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

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  (443): Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had. http://tfl.nu/2xlf
  Replies (28) Good night (7811) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.

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  (530): she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new. http://tfl.nu/z10i
  Replies (6) Good night (2909) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.

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  (303): Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos. http://tfl.nu/cmhg
  Replies (11) Good night (5245) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (6948) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?

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  (303): Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket? http://tfl.nu/im3g
  Replies (8) Good night (2424) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.

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  (361): Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck. http://tfl.nu/rgty
  Replies (18) Good night (1459) Bad night (1952) Order T-Shirt