Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he told me I talked like a deaf person
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
