What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Please, let me fuck your mom
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..