Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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