You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.