I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
false alarm. still invincible.
We need to rekindle our bromance
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home