just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize