her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.