My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.