Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.