Me too!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
