Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there