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i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
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