Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor