dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
