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i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
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