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I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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