Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
