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just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
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