i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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