Texts From Last Night

annonimuus's Favorites Texts:

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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  (847): just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism http://tfl.nu/1jbk
  Replies (12) Good night (409) Bad night (2261) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

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  (440): I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life. http://tfl.nu/cd1e
  Replies (36) Good night (8152) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here

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  (859): Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here http://tfl.nu/kvme
  Replies (13) Good night (1622) Bad night (4413) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i don't really know how much tequila is too much

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  (815): i don't really know how much tequila is too much http://tfl.nu/p5o7
  Replies (16) Good night (4122) Bad night (1375) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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  (650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j
  Replies (78) Good night (9751) Bad night (2570)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?

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  (973): how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me? http://tfl.nu/anhw
  Replies (8) Good night (5090) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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  (914): I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already http://tfl.nu/bq9r
  Replies (19) Good night (1167) Bad night (3264) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.

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  (702): Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/674n
  Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (3106) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.

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  (403): his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly. http://tfl.nu/boxe
  Replies (7) Good night (3848) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

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  (303): You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat http://tfl.nu/m0wi
  Replies (11) Good night (4039) Bad night (1180) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.

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  (903): The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/9bmt
  Replies (34) Good night (4048) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.

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  (267): I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/0qfz
  Replies (25) Good night (5093) Bad night (794)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking

  (404): View more from Georgia

  how did that work out?

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...

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  (478): So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking (404): how did that work out? (478): Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder... http://tfl.nu/o1yp
  Replies (15) Good night (4949) Bad night (1303)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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  (816): After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/v7rc
  Replies (12) Good night (3104) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.

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  (920): Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with. http://tfl.nu/j9qw
  Replies (22) Good night (4669) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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  (678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq
  Replies (27) Good night (4664) Bad night (1341) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.

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  (727): Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew. http://tfl.nu/ch0g
  Replies (8) Good night (6735) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt