Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face