We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.