Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
