Texts From Last Night · AkaKai's Favorites

AkaKai's Favorites Texts:

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(316): View more from Kansas

The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.

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(316): The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts. http://tfl.nu/ngvo

Replies (52) Good night (8258) Bad night (1303)
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(210): View more from Texas

Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...

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(210): Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend... http://tfl.nu/o37o

Replies (15) Good night (5055) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....

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(609): just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public.... http://tfl.nu/rq3r

Replies (24) Good night (6690) Bad night (1195)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.

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(608): your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places. http://tfl.nu/fel2

Replies (81) Good night (6482) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car

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(650): he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car http://tfl.nu/7wdo

Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (3274) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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(250): They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am http://tfl.nu/0rv3

Replies (3) Good night (3025) Bad night (917)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

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(403): Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0g8l

Replies (45) Good night (729) Bad night (9266) Order T-Shirt
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(416): View more from Toronto

No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

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(416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up. http://tfl.nu/0i7a

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(614): View more from Ohio

Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

(904): View more from Florida

FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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(614): Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing. (904): FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift http://tfl.nu/ws8p

Replies (17) Good night (7167) Bad night (773)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

(713): View more from Texas

Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

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(832): At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept?? (713): Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger. http://tfl.nu/oww9

Replies (44) Good night (4495) Bad night (8803)
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(818): View more from California

Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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(818): Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful. http://tfl.nu/9blw

Replies (15) Good night (1899) Bad night (4310) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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(760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v

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(607): View more from New York

I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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(607): I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever. http://tfl.nu/15o8

Replies (18) Good night (7073) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.

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(443): I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from. http://tfl.nu/qa0c

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(518): View more from New York

I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

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(518): I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire. http://tfl.nu/37qo

Replies (30) Good night (15016) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt

AkaKai's Favorites Texts:

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