i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.