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At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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