and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?