I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."