I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.